Tag Archives: soap

The Great Soap Conspiracy

Apparently- despite all evidence to the contrary!- we humans are a moderately clean lot. Soap has clearly been around the world for a long time.

Soap is:

sæbe in Danish;  saippua  in Finnish;  seife in German;  zeep in Dutch;

såpe in Norwegian;  sabão in Portuguese;  sapo in Latin;  savon in French;

sapone in Italian;  săpun in Romanian;  sabuni in Swahili;  saabbuun in Somali;

saabun in Hindi;  sabun in Indonesian;  jabón in Spanish;  shaban in Bengali;

shabon in Japanese;  and szappan in Hungarian.

Some of the spellings appear different but a lot of the words sound the same when spoken.

So how did this happen? Did one group of Soap Proselytisers (the “Soap Scum”) wander the earth, their sole mission being to spread the Word of the Soap to the Great Unwashed? Did soap travel as a precious commodity from continent to continent (“Here is my tribute to you Sire, from my three year voyage, five bars of soap for which we fought the savages!”) Or was soap left by the aliens when they were spying on Earth? That bar of soap in your bathroom, that’s actually an alien data collector, and when the time comes for the alien invasion, your DNA on that soap will be used to hatch mini-yous!

Got to stop the Matrix-madness now and go help the alien cause by washing my hands.

Charlie Hatches his Masterful Plan



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